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So long, 2009! I’m really going to miss you.

You represent so many things to me. I started this blog in 2009. I started my networking business in 2009. I started to seriously look for a house to buy. (I’m still looking for that house, and that’s OK.) I started a plan that will help me to finally shed this extra weight for good. (I’m still feeling my way through it, still learning, and that, too, is OK.)

In the past 2 months, I’ve regained something that I’d partly lost over the years — a little thing called desire. My life had become mundane. The daily grind had ground me into someone who questioned her purpose almost constantly. I was basically repeating the same day over and over again, getting nowhere, and touching no one in any meaningful way.

2009, you’ve changed all that. I now have a new purpose, and it’s a doozy. My quest in 2010 will be to help others to lose weight and get healthier, and also to help them regain their desire, their lust for life, as I have. This will all be accomplished through this blog, through networking online and off, and with the help of the products and business opportunity that is Trump Network. Talk about a game changer — this one is a life changer!

I made some new friends in 2009, friends I might not have made had I not regained some of that youthful self-confidence I had in my earlier years. I’m very thankful for these new people in my life, and I truly believe that at least one or two of them will remain in my life for the long haul. They inspire me to be greater than I have been, and now I believe that I can return the favor.

Anyway, I just wanted to say thanks, 2009. You’ve been a real friend to me, and I will miss you very much.

What a difference a day makes! Yesterday, I was feeling completely out of sorts. The world was on a tilt, and I was tilting in the opposite direction. It was not fun. Despite all the weirdness, insecurity and the return of those old sugar cravings, I stuck to my guns, knowing that today I’d be out the other side of those withdrawal symptoms and back to feeling great.

The QuikStick beverages were quite helpful. They helped to satisfy the sugar cravings, and kept my taste buds satisfied between meals. They’re really quite good for this purpose, and they provide the quick energy I need to keep going all day long. Check them out one of these days.

Anyway, I’m back in the game, and feeling more empowered than ever. I’m not quite ready to get back to the gym, although I know it would feel great to do so. Maybe after the New Year, at a time when everyone else is getting back to the gym, too.

I’d love to get into the habit of a morning workout. Years ago, when I was a mere youth in my prime, I’d gotten into the habit of a morning workout at a gym near the bank I’d worked at at that time. I’d do 30-45 minutes at the gym, then go to a nearby breakfast shop for an egg, a slice of toast with butter, and a coffee. I lost weight consistently for a while that way, but the gym wound up closing and my habit shut down with it.

These days, I find it nearly impossible to get up in time for work, let alone early enough for a workout before work. I’m hoping that, once I lose a bunch of this extra weight, I will again be able to rise early and get that workout in first thing in the morning. For now, I’ll just concentrate on the food. Then I’ll add a workout whenever I can fit it in. One of these day, I’ll be strong enough to choose exactly when and where to work out, and I’ll do that consistently.

One foot in front of the other. I’ll get there.

Blaaagh. That’s how I feel. Actually, I feel worse than that, because blaaagh seems to assume I’m not feeling much of anything. In actuality, I’m feeling quite a bit, but it’s mostly negative. I’m teary, depressed, bloated, lethargic and feeling completely out of control. This is a good thing.

Why do I say that it’s good that I feel this way? I will tell you why, but first I will tell you how I got to feeling so out of sorts in the first place.

For the past week and a half, or, more accurately, on and off since Thanksgiving, I’ve allowed myself to indulge in all manner of holiday food, drink and merry-doing. We all need to let go now and then, and just enjoy the little extras in life that could do us in if we indulged in them on a daily basis. So, with the excuse that it’s the holiday season and “everyone else is doing it”, I did just that. I enjoyed. Oh boy, did I enjoy.

Apple pie, cheesecake, turkey stuffing, seconds, thirds, soda, wine, breads, cookies, and snacks of all description were on the menu, and I had all of these and more. Pancakes for breakfast, with rich syrup and lots of butter. Hamburger on bun for lunch, with all the fixin’s, including mounds of French fries and ketchup. Pizza or grinders (hoagies, heroes, whatever you call them in your neck of the woods) for supper or late night snacking. Ice cream. (No, it’s not too cold out for ice cream. It’s never too cold for ice cream in my world.) Candy canes, candy bars, hot cocoa, whipped cream, chocolate, chocolate, chocolate.

You get the picture. I let myself go, for a week and a half, or maybe a month. On the day after Christmas, it all abruptly stopped. The party was over, and it was time to stop eating like a glutton. That “party” ended four days ago. Today, I’m crashing. My body is going through the withdrawal symptoms of no longer indulging in all that sugar, all that fat, all that partying. It feels like PMS, but I know what it really is, because I’ve been here before.

Three days ago, I started eating the Ideal Health foods again. I added fruits and vegetables, lean meats and fish. I drank the QuikStik mood infusion beverages, and I waited for the inevitable crash. Now, I am in the midst of that crash, and I’m so very glad of it. No, I don’t enjoy these feelings, but I know where they lead, and I will come out the other side stronger, and more sure than ever that the plan I was following pre-holiday is the one that will give me a life of clarity, stamina and good health.

The scale this morning told me that I’ve regained 5 of the pounds that I’d lost. That’s OK. I expected this to happen. Those 5 pounds will come off almost as easily as they went on. They’re temporary. They’re part of the price I was willing to pay for the time off to celebrate the holidays. Stick around and watch me lose them again.

Tomorrow I will feel better. Tomorrow I will be on top of the world. Tomorrow the clarity will return, along with the self-control, the stamina, and the enhanced knowledge that I can stick to this plan, even with holidays off for good behavior. (Maybe next year, I won’t want any time off at all!) I can do this. I will do this. I am doing this!